about me

Mari mari, hello, I'm Mandy Martini Chihuailaf, Fog over lake.

Do you ever feel like you've tried everything but no matter what you do, nothing helps? Something feels just feels off and you can't figure out why or what to do about it?

For me it started in 2008, I tried everything this society said would help me; weekly visits to the therapist's office (for 8 years,) seeing a psychologist, medications, yoga, meditation, self-help books, positive affirmations/thinking; I did it all.

If you've had any exposure to the healing industry, you know there are plenty of people saying "you should try this!" out there. And I did but nothing made it go away, nothing was helping.

It was like I couldn’t ‘shake’ it, (ugh, such a perfect saying but more on that later).

Anyhow, this was a very confusing time for me because sometimes it actually felt like whatever I was doing was helping, but then something would change and I would find myself back on square one again. 
That’s when I realized that this society only teaches us how to cope with what we’re going through— not how to heal and move on from it.

Not only that... it ignores who we are.
Primal beings with instincts and responses.

The deeper I got into this, I realized it's all very hush-hush.

And... if I hadn't been born into an Indigenous family, a family of medicine women, I don’t think I would've ever found my answers. 
I doubt I would’ve ever healed.

So, there’s this mixture of emotions... gratitude and pain. Gratitude for the knowledge my Elders and ancestors taught me. Pain from thinking, "what if I hadn't known this?!” Pain from seeing so many people struggling, without ever finding their answers. Without ever knowing who they are and why it matters in this 'modern' way of living. Without ever knowing that it's all connected.

The healing industry talks about the process of healing like it's a life journey. You're told you should learn how to cope. (Translation: learn how to live with it.)

But healing was never supposed to be the focus of your life. That's like saying that your purpose for living is trying to survive; how could that be true? How can fighting to feel good, to go through your life feeling numbed, be your purpose?

You’re supposed to leave that behind so that you can live your life as a full and thriving human being; waking up every morning happy and at peace.
(Not nauseous with anxiety.)

So about four years ago, it was clear to me that sharing this with you was my journey. A voice, an inner-calling, I don't know but it doesn't matter; something inside of me reminded me that there was a purpose for all the violence and trauma I’d been through; and that the knowledge from my Elders and ancestors wasn't supposed to only help myself, but others as well.

Ever since I’ve been teaching people all over the world how to heal from stress and trauma related illnesses and symptoms, using the knowledge of my people and my own experience. Through the online school SLG, we are now a community of members in over 35 countries.

I’ve taught people of all backgrounds, from survivors of violence, abuse, war, and refugees to Hollywood celebrities. No matter who you are, Indigenous Knowledge is knowledge for everyone. It's who you are, it's your birthright, and it's something we would've all known if it wasn't for colonialism.

If you've read this far, thank you. I hope we'll meet one day.

With love lamngen, (sister/brother)


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