I want to take you back to a time before 1978.

At this time, my mom was still living in Kechurewe (Five Sacred Places) and had never seen or met people who were not Indigenous. Back then, my family lived like all generations before us: off the land and guided by knowledge passed down since time immemorial. Money and electronics were as foreign to her as our way of living is to people in Western societies.

But then the industrialized world caught up with us. And here I am— the first generation to live separated from our traditional ways, and I’ve seen the damage it does.

Between 2008 and 2016, I went through so much trauma and stress that it felt like someone had tossed me into deep dark waters before teaching me how to swim first. I felt like I was drowning. And, of course, like most, I went looking for help.

For eight years I searched for any help I could find in this society and, as a result, learned how to cope. After some years I got to that sweet spot where you get a hang of the coping skills you’ve learned, get a routine going: exercising, eating healthy, taking your vitamins, and devouring book after book about self-help and healing… and… there it is!

A moment of peace. You think, Is this it? Have I finally healed?! At least, that’s what happened to me. But only for a hot second…

 

Because no one tells you coping is a sneaky trickster. 🦊

 

It makes you believe you’re doing good… as long as everything goes as planned. But then, as it goes in life, something happens.

There’s a setback, something triggers you— a loved one gets sick, you lose your job, your home, get divorced, there’s a world pandemic, you hit a wall juggling your business, taking care of your kids, etc, etc— and like an earthquake, it shakes you up before knocking you back on the ground. And it’s so discouraging.

You’ve fought so hard to feel good and do better, only to feel like you’re back where you started.

It happened to me and I see it happen to others, over and over again. The sad part is that it makes many people think that healing isn’t possible. At least not for them.

Lucky for me, even though I had spent eight years pretending I couldn’t hear her and our people’s knowledge, I could still hear my grandmother’s voice in my head saying, This is not it. This is not healing. 

And it wasn’t. 

 

Believing coping is the same as healing is like taking DayQuil when you have the flu and thinking you’re healed just because you can’t feel your symptoms at that moment.

 

In this society, we learn to control and manage our symptoms. Not how to let our bodies move through the natural process that makes healing possible.  And after eight years of living like that, I was so tired, done and over with it.

When I returned to our traditional knowledge and let my body finally heal, it took less than three months for my therapist to tell me that we should stop our sessions. (At this point going to therapy was a habit and I wasn’t really paying attention to why I was still showing up.)

“I have nothing to teach you,” she said. “Besides, I feel bad getting paid when you’re the one teaching and helping me.” 

For the past seven years, I’ve seen it happen to people across the globe inside my online healing program, SLG. It doesn’t take three months for everyone. For some, it goes faster. For some, it takes a bit longer depending on what they’ve been through and how much they are exposed to. But the point is that they finally get to feel the true difference between coping and healing, and move on with their lives.

That’s how powerful nature is. 

 

So if someone ever tells you that true healing isn’t possible — don’t listen to them.

 

Tell them it’s all lies. A conspiracy. Just kidding 😉 be nice. 

But seriously, don’t let it get to your head or make you feel discouraged. And definitely don’t let it get you stuck just coping with your pain.

Sending you love and a big hug!

Pewkayal (until we meet again),
Mandy Kvyen

 

* * * * 

P.S. A sign that you’re coping is if you’re still getting triggered by things, people, situations, places, etc. Or if days feeling good feels fleeting like something could take it away any second. ❤️

P.P.S. SLG will have one last opening before baby gets here  👶🏽 🪶 If you’re tired of coping and want to learn how to move on — Get on the waiting list so you don’t miss it.